Why, oh why...

Why do I always fall for these "free money" offers? Full Tilt sent me a "Free $50" offer. All I had to do was claim it, and then clear it as a regular bonus in the next two weeks. It's been long enough that I've done one of these that the many pitfalls have been forgotten.

I used to live for poker bonuses and was very good at clearing them. It became obvious long ago that at anything near the level I normally play, bonuses clear best at limit. So I used to play a lot of limit, and was pretty good at it. But then the bonuses dried up and I realized NL was a lot more fun, so I switched.

Now, along comes the Full Tilt bonus and I'm trying to play $1/$2 limit again. My first session of bonus clearing I lost more than the total bonus. I did better during my second session, actually winning some money, but didn't make up for what I lost in the first session.

Last night I sat down for what was intended to be a short session before going to bed. There were no tables immediately available, so I got on the wait list for several. After a few minutes they started popping up. Before I knew it I had four tables going. And the cards were coming like you wouldn't believe. AKs, AKo, AQs, KK, QQ, JJ, AJ. In the first five minutes of play I must have seen 20 premium hands. It was hard to keep track they were coming so fast, but I believe I won ONE hand out of the bunch. Before I could barely blink I was down $20 on three different tables. What stung the most was that in almost every case, the guy who won had no business being in the hand in the first place.

I would do far better to get nothing but crap cards that I can fold all night. Losing with a long series of premium hands just adds insult to the injury.

I recall reading an article a while back where the author attempted to scientifically prove that the schooling of the fishes was a fallacious concept. I don't recall all the details of his proof, but I'm pretty sure he overlooked some aspect of the real world conditions.

Party Poker was the ultimate proving ground for schooling of the fishes. I remember when I first started playing there. They had these "beginner" tables where only people in their first X days of play could sit at those tables. I joined Party long after I'd started playing seriously. I almost felt guilty sitting at those tables. Almost. For the first week or so it was literally like taking candy from a baby. These guys might as well have just transferred their funds to my account.

Then the tide turned. The schooling of the fishes hit with a vengeance. In most of the hands I played, I'd start way in the lead against any other single player, but when you get eight people seeing the flop and staying to the river if they caught even the tiniest bit, your opponents will collectively have the advantage on you almost every time. You aren't playing against a bunch of single fish, you're playing against the whole school. And the school will win the majority of the time.

To be completely fair, I'm probably dragging a number of non-applicable NL skills into the limit arena. I definitely read bluff far more often than is correct. With the exception of the very bad players, bluffs in limit are pretty much situational only. I need to keep repeating this to myself.

Or, better yet, I need to stop chasing these stupid bonuses. Nothing good ever comes of it. In the last three years I don't think I've made money on a single bonus.