Contortionists Unite!

I didn't intend for this blog to be nothing but poker when I first started it. Well, I didn't specifically intend for it to be anything when I started. But all the posts so far have been about poker. Time to change that.

If you've been reading between the lines here you'll know that I recently moved from southern California to central Florida. I still have my townhouse in Orange County, the one in California, and am still living in a hotel in Orange County, the one in Florida, but I've been in Florida for three months now so it's looking like the move is more or less permanent.

Several weeks ago I started preparing what would probably have been a multi-part blog entry on the traffic situation here in Orlando. (I'll summarize -- it sucks.) I'd like to think it would have been funny and biting and made some good, if highly sarcastic, suggestions about how to improve things, as if the non-existant traffic engineers in Orlando have been breathlessly awaiting my verdict on their efforts. But, this weekend, a friend sent me a link to some automotive web site which contained, among other things, a rather lengthy rant on the state of traffic in Utah, of all places. (I've driven up and down Utah and didn't notice the drivers there being significantly different than anywhere else in this country, so maybe it's a matter of perspective.)

After reading (okay, skimming) most of this article I came to the realization that rants about traffic are a lot like bad beat stories -- everybody's got a bunch and nobody wants to hear them. So, my witty observations on Orlando traffic have hit the editorial bit bucket.

But, I am going to impart one particular portion of my traffic rant because I've come upon what could be a rather ingenious solution that doesn't involve traffic engineers or re-striping lanes or moving lights. And people in areas other than Orlando could benefit.

One of my big complaints concerns the placement of traffic lights. Whoever it is that designs, and I use that term very loosely, the layout of the lights here (and in several other communities I've visited in New England) often pays little or no attention to whether the lights will actually be visible to traffic that stops near the limit line. (That's the big white line that you're supposed to wait behind.) In probably half the intersections here the driver in the first car behind the limit line has to contort himself into a position likely to require a visit to the chiropractor in order to actually see when the light has changed to green. They place the lights WAY up high and about three feet in front of the limit line. It's beyond stupid. But it's also extremely common.

So, what's the solution, aside from firing all the current traffic engineers and hiring people who actually have a clue? I bring you LightInSight, a wide angle Fresnel lens made of flexible plastic. Using just a bit of water, it adheres to the top of your windshield somewhat like a decal and brings into view those pesky traffic lights that are dangling practically over your head. I have one on order and will post an update once I've tried it out. If it works as expected, my neck will be extremely grateful.

Now that I've gotten the non-poker stuff out of my system, I'll remind everyone of this week's blogger tournaments. Tonight it's Monday at The Hoy, 10pm at PokerStars, password: HAMMER. Tomorrow it's the WWdN, 8:30pm at PokerStars, password: monkey. Wednesday it's The Mookie, 10pm at FullTilt, password: vegas1. Thursday it's WWdN: Not The, 10:30pm at PokerStars, password: monkey. All times are EDT. Please join in.