Can I please have my bath size Dial back?

My exchange with PokerStars concerning the MMIAs has begun to remind me of the comedy sequence of letters between a hotel guest and various members of the hotel staff about the soap in the guest's room. The guest has brought his own soap and would like the maid to stop dropping off additional little hotel soaps each day. (It obviously would have been easier to simply throw them away, but it wouldn't have been nearly as funny.) The guest keeps making contact with a different member of the hotel staff, and each of them communicate up or down the line a different version of exactly what they think the guest wants, none of them communicating anything that results in satisfying the guest's simple request.

The issue with PokerStars has several aspects. The first is that each email to support goes to a general address. Whoever happens to be the next available lowest level support person is the one who initially reads and often responds to your email. Sometimes they recognize that the issue is over their head and they kick it up the line. Even when it makes it to a supervisor, it likely won't be the same supervisor to whom you're actually replying. So far I've not received a response from the same person twice.

Because each response comes from a different person and they may not have taken the time to read the entirety of the previous exchanges, there is a tendency to repeat a lot of basic and completely useless information. In this case I've been told about a dozen times that, technically, each player has the right to use the entire 25 seconds they have available on every single decision. I get that, PokerStars, can we PLEASE move beyond it, because I may go postal if I'm told that one more time.

In my reply to the email saying they really wanted reports from players of abusive MMIAs I asked if there was some code phrase or password I could use to indicate I understood the situation and to cut through the normal support BS response. The reply to that once again informed me that each player had the right to use the full 25 seconds they have available for every decision, exactly the BS I was trying to avoid.

The other issue is that Stars either doesn't really have a formal policy on MMIAs or they've done an atrocious job of communicating that policy to their support people. It's been a vicious circle of being told reports of abuse can be made, being told there's nothing they can do, being told they really, really want reports of abuse because that's the only way they have of policing the matter, being told there's nothing they can do, rinse, repeat. Each time, of course, being reminded that each player has the right to use the entire 25 seconds available to them.

I have grown weary of the fight. In my last reply I told them they need to define a policy, communicate it to their people, and enforce it. Until they get their shit together on this, I'm done with it. And there seems to be little reason for them to get their shit together.

It's pretty clear they've done some math and decided they make more money by satisfying the players who want to sit at 24 tables at once (that, I'm told, is the actual table limit in the software) than they do by keeping the games moving at a reasonable pace. They say they're interested in keeping everyone happy, but it's not like they're going to openly admit they don't care about satisfying the single-table player. Actions speak louder than words, and so far their actions are speaking quite clearly.

I'm torn between attempting to make a point by opening 24 tables and playing as slowly as I can on all 24, encouraging other people to do the same, and simply picking up my chips and moving somewhere that has fewer MMIAs. The problem with the latter is that Stars is the only place I've found with $0.01/$0.02 NL tables, and that's the only place I can play with reasonable bankroll safety at the moment.

So I see three choices: continue playing at Stars at least until I build the bankroll to the $0.05/$0.10 level; move elsewhere and take my chances with a grossly inadequate bankroll; or drop some more money in the bankroll to up the safety level. I suppose I could do like Chris Ferguson did and start playing freerolls to pad the bankroll. That seems a real longshot way of doing it. I actually think I'd be better off buying in for half a stack and taking my chances with the nine and a fraction short $0.05/$0.10 buy-ins I already have.

I got the computer fired up and logged into Full Tilt about 20 seconds too late to join the Friday blogger donkament. I was really in the mood for this one too. There's a nearby upscale restaurant that's apparently been having some trouble attracting customers so they've started offering some happy hour specials. There's something really incongruous about a place where the cheapest entree on the menu is $17, but they have $1 beers. Four beers and half a $21 appetizer plate later, I was definitely ready for some rebuy madness. But it was not to be.

Instead I played an Omaha tournament. I don't know why I keep trying that game. I seldom get dealt decent cards, if I do the flop misses me completely, and I have little skill at post flop play. I doubled early against someone even worse than me, but made a couple stupid mistakes and was out before the first break. I should obviously stick to Hold'em. And I will, right after I finish Dr. Pauly's PLO tournament.